Hello world!

I’m sorry, but if you’re ACTUALLY reading this right now…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Alright, FINE! You found me.

Now, if you’re sitting there thinking, Who‘s this girl? I’ve never seen OR heard of her a day in my life, then allow me to introduce myself!

Hi 👋

My name is Arlie.

A few years ago, I went through something that most would describe as “pretty embarrassing”, and unfortunately for me, it happened publicly. So if you’re one of the lucky few who got to witness the catastrophe go down live, sigh, then you already know.

But if you’re not, then girlllll, forgive me, but we’re going to have to get to know each other just a tad bit better before I can spill the tea because that wound finally just healed, and I’m not sure I’m ready to go picking at it again just yet. 😂 Let’s just say the weight of the humiliation, along with all the gossip that came afterwards, became too much for me to handle and ultimately is what led me to isolate myself for many years.

Now if you know anything about isolation, then you know that once you’ve been sitting in it long enough, you eventually run out of distractions and have no choice but to sit and face yourself.

So I did.

I sat in my closet, and I faced myself…

I started reevaluating my past choices. I began questioning whether the people around me genuinely had my best interests at heart and, honestly, whether I even had theirs. I stopped chasing validation and started paying closer attention to what I actually wanted. But more than anything, I found myself asking a question I had never really considered before: was the version of myself I was showing the world the real me?

See, a part of me understood that my circumstances were a result of my own actions and decisions, but the other part struggled to understand that if I had been doing what I thought was right all along, then why did I end up in such a sh*tty situation?

Pardon my french.

But seriously, talk about a Tower Moment ! Turns out, having your entire perspective on yourself, your choices and your life shaken up is not exactly a walk in the park. Neither is taking a good, hard look in the mirror and admitting that maybe, just maybe, you played a part in how you got there.

Sounds depressing. I know.

And it was.

But it was also a very much-needed wake-up call.

Life has such strange ways of teaching us the lessons we’re most determined to avoid. Some come gently, while others hit you in the face like a ton of bricks. This one, in particular, cracked something open in me that I didn’t even know was there. But it was only once I learned to love, accept and appreciate who I had been, mistakes, flaws and all, that I could finally let go of her and make room for who I was ready to become.

And funny enough, the girl who once lived for the validation and recognition of others suddenly got a little too comfortable with being alone. This wasn’t exactly part of the plan, but it definitely had its upsides. Like I may not be exactly where I want to be right now, but I’ve already reached places the previous version of me could have only dreamed of.

The biggest downside? I’ve been on my own.

Poof. I disappeared.

The only people who really had access to me during this period were my mom, my siblings and a handful of people from work.

Lonely?

Sure.

But rewarding?

You have no idea. 😉

There’s something really peaceful about disappearing for a little while and coming back to yourself without anyone watching. You get to figure things out quietly. You get to change your mind. You get to try weird things, explore different sides of yourself and become versions of yourself you might not have had the space or courage to discover with everyone watching.

And I guess that’s why I stayed gone so long. I just didn’t want to be found LOL.

At least, not by everybody!

Just by the right people.

And if you’re reading this, maybe that’s you.